What sex means to me
At various junctures in life, sex has meant different things to me. But now that I have been married for almost five years to a man spiritually (not religiously) inclined and much more sexually experienced, I now refer to sex as a potent ‘energy’. When we talk about sexual exploration or refer to someone as ‘sexy’, what we mean is the positive, higher and peculiarly attractive vibe the person exudes. Almost a year after getting married, my husband and I took a trip to Rishikesh, the yoga capital of the world. We went around Lakshman Jhula, a place that’s a fusion of spirituality, adventure, and free-spirited culture. Quite an interesting mix, I must say! We took Ayurvedic massages, practised breathing and yoga with a sage and talked about unlocking our sixth sense with a yogi. Both of us spent hours beside the Ganges and made conversation while staring at the mountains. While commuting between places, we bumped into foreigners who were studying the Vedas, learning Sanskrit, searching for peace or their selves. Related reading: How much of yourself should you give to a relationship?
When we met the ascetic
One day we spent some time in a jungle with an Aghori who was not only intuitive but also magnetic. The loose, wrinkled skin suggested old age, but the sparkle in his eyes and the smile was a blend of childlike innocence, naughtiness and power. His voice was so deep and intense that you would like to listen to him even if he spoke in a foreign language. His choice of words hinted an origin from the peninsular region of Gujarat that my husband from the same state caught immediately. When asked, the yogi confirmed, “Yes, my body is.” He said that couples are like flowers and bees; they just need to know when to exchange roles. We talked about life in a detached way and about detachment in an attached way. There was something ‘higher’ about the whole interlude. It won’t be an exaggeration to say that we were under a mystical influence during our stay in Rishikesh. Interactions with strangers or each other were about exchanging vibes. We could feel specific vibrations in the tender yet powerful touches. I realised this during our sexual encounters during and after the trip. I have only heard and read about, never practised tantric sex. But that’s how it must feel, I believe! There was no lust, no aggression but a confluence of energies beyond explanation. We could feel the pulsating warmth through each other’s touch, the flow, the harmony. It was divine! Related reading: These five things separate great sex from average sex
Something special in the sex
We have travelled before and after that, made love a thousand times, but it has never been the same again. It wasn’t just about Rishikesh or us, but consonance of all the three energies, my husband’s, my own and the transcendence of our union in Rishikesh. Not every couple needs to visit a particular place. It may remain constant or change; there are no thumb rules. Sometimes, we secretly fancy swapping or threesomes, a third person or another couple to add that zing. If we are open to sources of energy beyond humans as well, we wouldn’t be as confused about sexual satiation perhaps.
A friend and teacher at ‘Art of Living’ once said that the pleasure he gets from meditating is the same as he gets from orgasming. The ecstatic thoughtlessness is common to both experiences, spiritual and sexual. “So really it happens that the more sexual a person is, the more inventive he can be. The more sexual a person is, the more intelligent. With less sex energy, less intelligence exists; with more sexual energy, more intelligence, because sex is a deep search to uncover, not only bodies, not only the opposite sex body but everything that is hidden.” – Osho
